Secret No. 4: Don’t assume I know what you mean.
Advisors need to explain issues to clients in a context they understand, Flaxington said. The most effective way to do that is act as a counselor who is guiding them rather than someone who is telling them what to do.
Secret No. 5: Focus on them.
With difficult clients, an advisor may feel as though she is stuck doing the same dance over and over. The only way to possibly break the cycle is to use a multi-pronged approach: acknowledge, reflect/connect, think, inquire, confirm and act, Flaxington said.
If a client is overspending, for example, ask more questions and find out why. Ask the client if you and he can look at the behavior together. The idea is to find a way to communicate that will get the client to act in a responsible way, said Flaxington.
Advisors who can come to see difficult clients as interesting or a challenge may have more success in dealing with them, she added.
But an advisor’s effort to deal with difficult clients shouldn’t go on forever. “If a client resists and resists, you can’t help them,” Flaxington said.